A totally exasperating, miserable, frustrating, worse than useless follow-up appt with the marvelous dr. today.
Remember how three months ago I went up to the Cleveland Clinic and had six hours of grueling vestibular testing, and the upshot of it was severe damage to the balance nerve of my left ear, and the prescription was vestibular therapy, which I've subsequently been doing twice a week, plus tons of homework?
Well, today I went for a follow-up appt with the same lady and TODAY she totally changed her story. She looked at the exact same data from the exact same tests, and apparently FORGOT that she already gave me the "results" quite some time ago, and apparently didn't read her own comments, so today she says, and I quote: "well, your ears are fine. All your tests are normal."
But–but–but–but.
I was literally speechless.
I said, "But what about my balance tests?" And she had to admit that those were horrible. But what's causing it??? Anyone's guess. But NOT ears. I said… "But you said last time that I had nerve damage to my left ear, and that was causing it." (She even wrote on my prescription to Vince "acute LEFT vestibular disorder." If nothing's wrong with my ears, why did she single out the left one? She said, "Well, I don't know what's causing it. I thought maybe a virus… but even if so it didn't leave any damage… Because all your ear tests are normal. That's all I can tell you."
So she's palmed me off for more tests from others, a neurologist (to check if something in my spine is messing up the lines of communication) and a cardiologist (because Vince thinks I have this blood pressure problem called POTS, which I think may be true, as I have episodes of low blood pressure that can really be bad). And so I said, "So we're done??" (Again, total disbelief in this whole thing.) And she talked to me like I was a special needs child, and said, "Yes, I just don't know what else I can tell you. It's not your ears."
After this I called Ben from the car, and ranted for a while, and felt like smashing dishes, and Ben very calmly pointed out something very important: "But you ARE getting better. You can take a walk now, which you couldn't do two months ago."
Good point. That's the point. I will hang on to that. Whatever it is, or was, or shall be, I AM getting better. Whatever is wrong, the vestibular therapy seems to be helping, for whatever reason. Or… not. Maybe it's just a total coincidence and I'm just better because time is passing and I'm … oh, who the fuck knows?
I can't wait to tell Vince about all this. I hope he calls her, I really do.
And don't tell me that my full-on vertigo attack of 6/11, WITH hearing loss, mind you, and full 360s, and vomiting, was NOT ear-related. Just don't tell me that, because it's false.
I feel like, I get myself on some sort of solid ground. I get some bearings and in a process and on a path, and then boom– someone pulls the rug out from under me. This is what happened with the summer and the Meniere's too. Low salt is bad, high salt is good, and black is white. I get my bearings again, and now this.
She just washes her hands of me. It's like we had a date three months ago that meant a lot to me, and meant nothing to her whatsoever. And this is the "world class care" the Clinic is always gassing on about??
AAAARRRRRG.
But. I. Am. Getting. Better.
Focus, focus, focus.
Next Monday, the neurologist.
Another turn in the maze, and lord knows we can expect a WHOLE bunch more conflicting, contradictory and potentially useless if not harmful information!