Apparently someone who suffers from migraine is called a "migraineur." However, as a woman with more than passing familiarity with high school French, I resent the masculine ending. Thus I declare myself to be a migraineuse.
As has been the case repeatedly in the past six months, I've been spending the week getting my head around my new diagnosis, new identity, and new community of fellow travellers. My first task on this journey was to answer the question drugs or no drugs. Let's review the options:
A) follow the recommendation of much-trusted Vince, and the highly-regarded neurological god, and go on Cymbalta. This is a powerful SNRI, used primarily for treating anxiety and depression, with sideline uses like migraine. It:
- might take 1-2 months to see if it's working; might need the dosage adjusted, and then another 1-2 months to see about that; then might need to be scrapped altogether and the process repeated with a new drug
- is expensive
- comes with a host possible side effects, including but well beyond insomnia and dry mouth– things like suicidal thoughts and paranoia.
OR
B) Try to stop the symptoms with lifestyle changes and diet, which:
-
might take 1-2 months to see if it's working
-
is cheap
-
comes with a host of possible side effects, such as the risk of becoming even more fanatical about food purity than I already am, annoying loved ones and wait staff for miles around, and becoming overall more healthy, clean and sober (totally wine free), out of the grips of caffeine addiction, and possibly somewhat more svelte.
When I looked at the migraine diet itself (my peeps at the dizzy lounge directed me to this book called "Heal Your Headache" which seems to have Bible-like stature in the Migraine-Aggravated-Vertigo community) and saw that the four of the top offenders — caffeine, chocolate, aged cheeses, and nuts and nut butters– are in fact my major daily food groups, I decided that there is room for real improvement on that front. And my intensive vestibular therapy, which was purposely irritating every nerve in my balance system twice a week, plus homework, had to be making matters a lot worse. And looking at the struggle and the issues with going on a serious drug like that– Vince said "You will hate it, you will feel foggy headed, but you have to suck it up"; the N. God said, "it might make you feel like Jimmy Buffet"; a friend said that her brother strongly considered driving his car into a bridge abuttment while he was on it– it seemed very obvious that I should at least really TRY to solve this drug free. If I can't, and two months from now I'm still as dizzy as ever, I can look at the drug then. But for now, I'm really giving it the college try.
So here's my new hobby: walking up and down the aisles of grocery stores with an empty cart and empty stomach. I simply can't find anything to eat! No more trail mix in a pinch, no more Luna bars for women, no more salad dressings or citrus fruits, no more freshly baked breads, and on and on. Even making things at home is tricky– leftovers start to age within a day and start producing a migraine trigger. I went to make chicken pot pie this week, and found that even the purest free range, organic chicken stock includes the dreaded "natural flavor" — this is likely MSG, which I'm coming to see, is in EVERYTHING. So to make the pot pie, I had to first make my own stock from scratch, which luckily I often do anyway, but wanted to skip for convenience for once. I also had to modify the biscuit topping– no buttermilk or cheddar cheese could be in there– and switch out onions (bad) for shallots (good).
What I'm finding is that I need to make everything freshly at home from totally simple non-processed ingredients, and then freeze it in individual servings. I just figured this out today after several days of going around hungry and at a loss. No Greek yogurt? No walnuts… No… sniff… bittersweet chocolate chips?
This makes it impossible, I think, to eat out. The holidays are going to an exercise in frustration. But the alternatives (chronic dizziness or hard drugs) are so unappealing I'm willing to tough it out. This is going to make the holidays pretty interesting. What Heal Your Headache says to do is treat every party like a pot luck, and bring something you know for sure is safe to eat. This seems like a good strategy, although not at all convivial. But worth it. Preliminary results are promising. I'm less dizzy already!
Weaning adventures, caffeine withdrawal, and my fun outing to drink barium, all this remains to be covered, but I'm out of time.