Isaac has become a real reader lately. Just the other day he called up his friend Jens, and worked on his important DNA research on the phone, a continuation of their schoolwork. He read the page (which I found for him, something about science questions answered for kids) containing all sorts of useful information about DNA. He's cooking up a scheme, and needs to do his important DNA research as a part of it. I just got an inkling of the scope of the scheme the other day on the way to school. He began questioning me closely about DNA. Within just a few questions, I was out of my depth. Then the questions began to circle around a central theme: can DNA be injected into a person, and if so, will that person then take on the traits of the added DNA?
This was pretty technical for me, but I talked about Dolly the sheep and the cloning process, and genetic modification of corn and strawberries, and other odds and ends I could think up. It was only almost upon arrival at school, a full 20 minutes into the conversation, that I grasped the scope of Isaac's plan: he would ask Santa for a DNA-transfer machine, and become half-human and half-something else. (He has the utmost respect for the power of Santa.) The only matter to be determined in his mind was what– which creature's DNA should he have transferred in?
He was leaning towards spider– I mean, climbing walls, making webs, having venom, all this would be pretty cool. But, let's face it, it's been done. Hello? Spider-man! This is well-trodden territory. I dropped him off at school, still puzzling over the best choice.
When I picked him up seven hours later, I could see that he and Jens had been discussing this during every free moment of the day. (It's a Montessori school, so they have some flexibility, but they have tons of work to get done so can't sit there chatting the whole time.) "Mom," he announced. "I need an animal that can swim, go on land, AND fly. I need all those powers. What can do that?" This stumped me (if you have any suggestions, let me know). I said, "Well, in its larval stage a dragonfly swims under water. Then as an adult it can both walk on land and fly. Will that work for you?" He pondered. "Hm. That just might work. They can fly really fast, too! They can catch other insects right out of the air, and they can hover. Yes! I'm definitely going with dragonfly."
That settled, he moved on what Elias should choose. It seemed sort of like handing him the sloppy seconds, but Isaac tossed him the idea of being half-spider. Elias was delighted with it– only impatient. "Can I do it now?" he wanted to know. Alas, Christmas is months away. And last time I checked they don't sell DNA transfer machines at Target.
I'll never truly understand how these little minds work. Isaac has a couple unshakable convictions– that girls pee out their butts, for instance, or that boys carry extra urine in their testes. I try very hard to straighten these things out, but so often I don't even know that he's thinking something so far afield and so I can't correct it. A few weeks ago Ben had a meeting or something and so the boys and I were out late a dusk taking Lena around for her last potty break of the night. We came back in and took our boots and coats off, and then Isaac started saying, "There's a sign out there in the woods that says Grendel might come here." I said, "What sign?" I had no idea what he was talking about– although he went to see a children's play adaptation of Beowulf not long ago and I think it really left a lasting impression on him.
"There's a sign– out in the woods. I says "Grendel Might Come" or something like that. Wanna see it?" From his expression I could see that this was pretty important to him and after a little back and forth I could also see that he really wanted and needed to go and check it out right now. It was pretty near pitch dark by then, but we put our boots and coats back on and ventured out in the woods to see what he was talking about. He brought Elias and me down the driveway and off a little ways, and there was a sign post sticking up. It was like a utility marker of some kind. I couldn't read it in the dark, but I could see basically what it was. "Oh!" I said. "That's not saying anything about Grendel. It's just saying there's an underground gas line or something like that here, so you can't dig here or you might hit it."
Relief swept over Isaac's face and body. I could see him suddenly relax– "I'm so happy!" he said. "I really thought it was a warning about Grendel."
"I'm so glad we came out to check, Isaac. You did the right thing to ask about it. I would never have guessed that this was scaring you in a million years." We walked back to the house talking about it. How could a creature, that wasn't real in the first place, and if it was real lived thousands of miles away and a thousand years ago, come here, and indeed come here so often that the local authorities put up a sign to warn us about it? But that's not the point. The point is that the sign terrified Isaac, especially since he could only read part of it. The part that said DANGER and the part that said Gr– ("underGRound cable," as it turned out).
I guess the other point is that I'm very happy that he trusts me as a source of information about these important matters. Although when I tell him that Santa can't bring a DNA transfer machine, he just says I'm wrong.